2007
Nov 13
  1. Radio to his crew every ten laps saying, “I think I’ve got a vibration… sike.” (Note: sike is required)

  2. On the victory podium, make like the other Jimmy Johnson and yell, “How ‘bout them Cowboys!”

  3. Shave his head to match Chad Knaus’ hairdo.

  4. Turn up the intensity of his celebration and give two fistpumps.

  5. With ten laps left and only 18 cars left in the race do a burnout, head to the garage and celebrate early.

  6. In the post race interview start by saying, “I just want to thank Chad Knaus for working so hard to find a way to conceal the traction control and afterburners from NASCAR detection.”

  7. Finally take Elliott Sadler’s advice and arc more entering the turns. You’d be surprised how well it works.

  8. With every challenge met in NASCAR, announce his immediate retirement to pursue a career in the IRL.

  9. Win his fifth straight race.

  10. In effort to make a closer race and boost ratings, let his wife Chandra drive at Homestead.

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