Trouble in Turn2

After three straight races in three different time zones, all the NASCAR drivers were looking forward to the off-week before heading back to work. Like every other person with free time, they look forward to their vacation filled with relaxtion and entertainment. Earlier in the off-week several NASCAR drivers decided to relax and enjoy a night out together. So Dave Blaney, Patrick Carpentier, JJ Yeley, Kyle Petty, Johnny Sauter, Mike Skinner, Bill Elliott, John Andretti, Joe Nemecheck and Dario Franchitti decided to head to a trendy Charlotte nighttime hangout, Club 3-5.

As the group approached the front door, they were suddenly stopped by the bouncer,“Sorry, I can’t let you guys in”.

“What? It’s only 9:00 and it’s a big club, it looks like there’s plenty of room for all of us,” said an irritated Nemechek.

“Yeah, there’s room but we have to save spots for people with better dance skills.”

“Better dance skills? Like who?” asked an incredulous Andretti, “Who’s cooler than us?”
Dale Earnhardt Jr and Kasey Kahne nudged their way through the group and moonwalked their ways inside the door.
“Ok, fine,” responded Andretti, “They’re pretty cool, but who else?”
Just then, Regan Smith and Sam Hornish Jr walked up to the velvet rope and nudged their way past the group of drivers. “Hey Mike, can we get in?”

“Of course guys,” said the bouncer as he opened the rope and motioned them towards the door. Then turning back to the other drivers shrugged and said, “That’s the rules. Those guys have been better dancers this year than any of you. Plus have you ever seen Hornish pop and lock?”

“We just want to get into the club, we don’t expect to dominate the dance floor. That’s only fair,” pleaded Petty.

All right, some of you can still get in, but you’ll have to prove it with your dance moves. I’ll let eight of you in, but the others have to go hang out at the Olive Garden.”

Bill Elliott was the first one to try. He began with a slow, uncoordinated rendition of the Charleston, but then Mike the Bouncer interrupted. “Hey, didn’t you win a dance contest a few years ago? Yeah, you did. 1986 right? Go ahead, you can go in.”

Next up was JJ Yeley. His acrobatic routine began impressively but then as he was squaring up for a flip, he slumped to the ground. “I think I broke my leg!”

“That’s a shame there JJ, but I’m sorry we can’t let you in.”

As Yeley was writhing in pain on the ground, another driver, Michael McDowell limped up to the door on crutches. With a simple nod to Mike the Bouncer, McDowell slipped inside as the door closed behind him. A befuddled Yeley just sat there.

Next up were Franchitti, Carpentier, Skinner and Andretti doing some ballroom dancing. The performance, although awkward without female dance partners, impressed Mike the Bouncer enough. “I’ll let you guys in, but let me see the other dances first. Just stand here for a minute.”

Just then Boris Said walked by and saw all the dancing. “That looks pretty fun, I think I’ll give it a shot too.”
Petty realized there were only three spots left so he went for it. He pulled out the Robot routine he’d learned from his dad back in the 70’s. “Kyle, I’m sorry but it was just too slow. It may have worked in another era, but I can’t let you in.”

So Said proceeded to do a flawless breakdance routine capped with a headspin. “That was amazing! That’s one of the best dances I’ve seen tonight. You’re in for sure!” Just then a lightning bolt lit up the sky followed by a sudden downpour.

“It’s raining! I didn’t even have a chance to go,” cried Blaney as the makeup for his Thriller routine ran down his face.

“You’re right Blaney, we need a way to settle this.” The bouncer paused for a second, “Okay, Elliott, Blaney, Franchitti, Nemechek, Yeley-but you’ll need to switch to your backup routine when you get inside, Sauter, Carpentier and Skinner. You guys can go inside, the rest of you can check out a never-ending pasta bowl.”

“What? You said I was awesome! Now I have even get in because it’s raining?”

“Sorry Boris. The rest of these guys show up every week and try to get into the club, but you just show up from time to time. How would that make sense?”

“None of this makes sense. Come on Boris, let’s go get some breadsticks.” said Andretti.