Trouble in Turn2

Now that Dale Earnhardt Jr has scored his breakthrough win for 2008, who is the next driver to win for the first time this year? Nine different drivers have already won at least one race this year, but there are still a lot of big names looking to kick in the door to Victory Lane. Here’s a list of candidates in order of likeliness.

Aside from crazy circumstances, a team finding something revolutionary, or a road course ringer, I can’t see any other drivers challenging for wins this year. Anyone else you see winning this year?

Almost every driver has that one track where they just can’t seem to win. It’s like Charlie Brown trying to kick the football. No matter how well the approach is, how many different tactics he tried, it always ended with Lucy pulling the ball away. \Here’s a list of ten drivers still waiting for the big breakthrough at different tracks. The list features a lot of domination in the form of fruitless laps (laps led without winning), some close calls and plenty of heartbreak.

• Ryan Newman at Lowe’s In 14 career starts Newman has started from the pole times, scored three top five finishes and five top tens. He has also led 243 laps, the most of any active driver without a win at Lowe’s. He nearly won the 2007 fall race but a flat tire with three laps left sent him into the wall.

• Sterling Marlin at Short Tracks You would think someone with the credentials of Sterling Marlin would be able to score at least one short track win in a career spanning 32 years and 162 short track starts. Marlin has led 1221 laps and finished in the top five 12 times, but never as the top dog.

• Jeff Gordon at Texas-Gordon has 5 top fives and 326 laps led in15 career Texas starts. Texas and Homestead are the only Cup tracks where Gordon has been shut out of Victory Lane. It’s still hard to rank too high on the agony chart when you have won virtually race at almost every track on the circuit.

• Kurt Busch at a road course Busch has led 99 laps at the two Cup road courses, Sonoma and Watkins Glen. That is the highest number for all drivers without a win to show for it. He has finished 3rd, 4th and 5th at Sonoma. While he doesn’t have a top five at Watkins Glen, he did win the 2006 pole and lead 38 laps before getting caught entering the pits before they were open, ruining his chance at a win.

• Denny Hamlin at Richmond He only has five Cup starts at his home track, but has already seen his share of disappointment. He has two poles, two top fives a second, third and sixth place and led 448 laps but no champagne. He won the 2006 pole for the fall race, but then lost a cylinder. Then this year dominated the race only to cut a tire in the final 20 laps.

• Dale Earnhardt Jr at Martinsville 748 laps led and seven top five finishes in 17 career starts. Junior is still waiting for that first grandfather clock.

• Matt Kenseth at Chicago For a track without much history, Matt Kenseth has had several close calls at Chicago. In 2005 he dominated the race leading 176 laps but was snookered by Dale Earnhardt Jr on the final pit stop. In 2006 he again dominated leading 112 laps but was bumped and spun by Jeff Gordon with four laps left. He finished 2nd again last year to Tony Stewart.

• Jeremy Mayfield at almost everywhere Of active drivers, Mayfield has led the most laps that didn’t result in a win at Bristol and Darlington, Rockingham and the second most at Dover. With his recent struggles, it’s easy to forget that Mayfield was a pretty good driver in his prime.

• Tony Stewart at Talladega Eight second place finishes at the Alabama track show how close Smoke has come. In 2005 he was narrowly beat by Dale Jarrett when the caution flag flew on the final lap. He has also led the last nine Talladega races and 244 total laps in his career. At least his consolation was a Nationwide win this spring.

• Mark Martin at Daytona It’s hard to tell if Martin hates Daytona because he can’t seem to win there, or he can’t win because he hates it. Feelings aside, he nearly pulled off the feel good win last year before Kevin Harvick was declared the winner when the official sat on the caution flag. In 46 career starts, Martin has nine top 5’s, 16 top 10’s, 241 laps led, and a best finish of 3rd.

So what do you think? Who will be the first one off this list? Maybe Sterling Marlin will crush at Bristol.

Three races is apparently enough time to declare a slump for Hendrick Motorsports. Seriously. It’s getting a little carried away, but thanks to some research I’ve uncovered the reasons for the team’s “struggles”.

• 10. The Jimmie Johnson cloning project is experiencing technical difficulties.

• 9. It’s Leap Year, everyone knows Hendrick cars never run well in leap years.

• 8. The season supply of Amp hasn’t cleared customs yet.

• 7. The Curse of the Shrub.

• 6. NASCAR secretly switched Jeff Gordon’s cars with Robby Gordon’s.

• 5. Chad Knaus’ New Year’s resolution was to not work the gray area.

• 4. Jeff Gordon wears a Winnorette patch to help him quit winning.

• 3. They won a Nationwide race, what more do you want?

• 2. Team orders: Only Casey Mears can take the checkers.

• 1. Junior is simply building the suspense.

Don’t forget to enter the contest to win a $20 gift certificate to Whatever Sports.

The Daytona 500 is 30 days away. Are you geared up for the new season? Take this simple test to see how (over)prepared you are.

1. The family’s 1998 Taurus is wrapped in a special DeWalt paint scheme.

2. You haven’t used any sick or vacation days since November in preparation for rain delayed races.

3. After spending all winter hoarding peppers for salsa, local grocery stores have posted pictures banning you from buying produce.

4. There’s just one coat of paint left on the “Busch Sucks” sign.

5. This is a common discussion at work:
   coworker: “Can you quick run this report for me?”
   You: “Boogity, Boogity, Boogity!”
   coworker: “Whatever”

6. The teenager worker at the gas station is irritated because you keep yelling at him to lower the track bar and pull a spring rubber.

7. Fire-grill-drills. A practice where a family member attempts to run to the grill, check and turn the meat and safely return before the end of the commercial break. (That’s right, you practice on the NFL playoffs to be ready for Daytona, and probably the Super Bowl too.)

8. Your BAL (Blood Amp Level) is so high that your skin has a Mountain Dew green hue (not only are you ready for Daytona, but also qualify as a human battery).

9. The whole family is sporting Boris Said afros. Unfortunate morning byproduct: Boris Said Bed Head.

10. Your new HANS device just arrived from from eBay. Now you can watch races without fear of whiplash.

1. Radio to his crew every ten laps saying, “I think I’ve got a vibration… sike.” (Note: sike is required)

2. On the victory podium, make like the other Jimmy Johnson and yell, “How ‘bout them Cowboys!”

3. Shave his head to match Chad Knaus’ hairdo.

4. Turn up the intensity of his celebration and give two fistpumps.

5. With ten laps left and only 18 cars left in the race do a burnout, head to the garage and celebrate early.

6. In the post race interview start by saying, “I just want to thank Chad Knaus for working so hard to find a way to conceal the traction control and afterburners from NASCAR detection.”

7. Finally take Elliott Sadler’s advice and arc more entering the turns. You’d be surprised how well it works.

8. With every challenge met in NASCAR, announce his immediate retirement to pursue a career in the IRL.

9. Win his fifth straight race.

10. In effort to make a closer race and boost ratings, let his wife Chandra drive at Homestead.